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Friday, December 6, 2013

Book Review: Ruthie and Michael Dean's Real Men Don't Text

I started out liking this book till the male author advised women that it was improper to tell a man you're seeing "I gotta pee." It's so sexist to tell women that it's more advisable to say you need to use the restroom instead. I would never want to be with a man so sensitive to the fact that a woman has some of the same bodily functions as a man. So for a book about texting how does a man divert the attention to how a woman should be proper to a man? Because when more on point with the idea that a man isn't really interested if he's texting, the book was more agreeable, but when going off point it just gets sexist.

Summary: Have you ever found yourself waiting two or more days for that guy you have a crush on to text back? Does he only ever text you and never calls? Are you feeling a little confused about the fact he can't send more than a text to invite you out? Well if so maybe this book might open your eyes to the fact he isn't head over heels for you. A guy who only texts might be interested, but the best way to confirm he is to get him to call. Ruthie provides insight for women from her own experiences, and her husband, Michael gives a small dose of a male perspective.


Characters: Well the book features the two authors talking about their relationship to one another, and other stories to bring to light the message they are presenting. It seems the authors' avoid giving too much away about their personal lives. Ruthie Dean talks about her impure past before meeting Michael, and says that she went as far as she could get without having sex, but when talking about her regrets she just leaves it at "kissing outside bars." While I understand not wanting to get too personal, it's better to be obscure than try to allude with that passage, because that just really makes you sound more innocent than you might have been. It's almost laughable to those who have been further and regretted it. Michael is a little bit more honest I think in his accounts of how he treated women though. Of course there are some hugely sexist tones in the book that began to bother me. Michael's list of how women can appeal to men just made me cringe. Every man has a different personality and appearance they are attracted to and he even states that in the book, yet gives this list of what to be.

Writing: Then there is the writing. I think this was the weakest part of the book. Ruthie constantly says the word "sister" in trying to make the reader, most likely women, feel they are united together. This is great, but it also sounds very "motivational speaker" like. If you've been to a motivational speaker rally, or whatever they are called you know what I'm talking about. I'm not saying that the Deans are phony, but the tone of that approach in speaking and writing sounds really phony. It's like it is intentionally meant to hype and motivate without the real care for the individual being spoken to. Considering that the man and woman have both the same tone in the book it just detracts from it.

Plot: When receiving this book I thought it would be a book directed at both men and women, and honestly I wish it was. I get why they write books like this directed at women because they figure women will mostly be the one seeking out dating books, but from I observed some men got this book expecting that it would be for them as well. Don't get me wrong, I agree with the sentiment. I do think the greatest test of knowing someone's real interest, even if they are really interested, is to see if calling you is worth the time of day to do even if it's for a few short minutes to ask you out or say hi. On the other hand, some people really don't like talking on the phone or if you're like me it's really difficult to have a short conversation that doesn't take up a huge length of time. I've been someone who is more of a texter, and considering my fiance works a job that doesn't leave us much time to talk when he is away we rely more on texting. It doesn't really cover what to do if women are the one encouraging the texting more than the men, which honestly I'm sure happens.

Real Men Don't Text at least offers a fresher approach than other dating books. I had some other problems with the book that I didn't list above. The authors also seem really odd about their faith in Christ. They even warn readers they are about to discuss Christianity and tell them if it's uncomfortable that they can skip ahead to other parts. I don't wear my faith like that. If you are a Christian and you are including that in your book than just do it. Don't write off what you're saying, especially regarding Christ, as if it's unimportant. They aren't even saying anything that I think a non-Christian, unless highly sensitive, would be offended by. Beyond the sexism and the motivational speaker tone, the biggest problem seemed to be the need to appease everyone and not be true to who they are. They seem to really want the mainstream audience to read this book as well, so for the first parts of the book you don't even know if it's a faith based book, and then after disguising it for a while they finally bring up the Christian aspect, and then tell people they can skip if it makes them uncomfortable. Them telling me it's okay to skip made me uncomfortable as a Christian just reading the book. On other thing this book excludes singles and couples who aren't looking for a man to be a "father figure", some people don't want children and that isn't apart of what they are looking for in a spouse.

Rating 5 of 10.



This book was provided by Tyndale in exchange for a review. 

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